So I’ll get it out of the way.  Today was TOUGH.  In fact, I’m pretty convinced the only way I got through this run was because I mentally committed to this “20 Miles, 20 Selfies” idea before I started. (What’s funny is you can totally see the decline…it was only fun for like the first 10 miles, but more on that in a bit!)

It’s been awhile since I have not only had SO much internal negative talk, but also that I’ve not been able to overcome it.  I don’t know what exactly happened. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile and have gotten no further in my efforts to try and describe what I felt. I definitely wasn’t feeling physically awesome, especially by mile 16, but I just could not mentally get out of my own way.  I did more walking than I wanted, but hey, I finished!  That was what was really important to me.  Second in line for importance was I hoped to finish before the course officially shut down (4 hours).  I expected to have more wiggle room, but I finished with 4 minutes and change prior to the shut down so I’ll count that as a “win.”  The course was tough.  The loops we 20-milers did was not super scenic.  The volunteers were great as were the other runners, especially the other 20-milers. It was kind of like a special club, tackling 20 miles together.

So let’s enjoy the 20 selfies, because that’s more fun than my continued thinking about how tough today was (though near the end, you’ll start to see the shift from excitement to “Oh my god I hate everything right now”).

So in the end, I got it done. It was not the pace I was hoping for (I certainly wasn’t hoping to walk!) I wanted to feel better, mentally and physically, but I have to deal with the fact I didn’t and just move on!

I have a “shakeout” 5K run tomorrow with the Cambridge Classic 5K which I’m really looking forward to as those are always a fun event.  Next weekend I’ll go for 18 and the following I’m going to attempt 22.  Part of my training this go around was to do 2, 20-miler runs, so we shall see!  Trying to keep positive because I have been putting in the work. Sometimes running is just tough and nothing productive can come from being hard on myself!

Until next time, happy running!