Me and My Shadow

Being officially in taper land (15 days!!) runs are no longer hitting PRs and my mind has been wandering in a different way.
On my run today I started thinking back to what got me to be one of the lucky ones who gets to live the next 15 days in excitement and anticipation of running the Boston Marathon. Sure I’ve been training since Decemeber, but I’m only here because of a choice I made about 15 months ago. It was an active choice to be a new me and to lead my life where I wanted to go, not travel helplessly along feeling as if I had no control. What’s funny is at that time I never thought it would bring me to running a marathon, but hey life is full of surprises!
I’m sure others who have been unhealthy and unhappy can relate to the constant negative self talk. Whether I said things out loud or internalized my thoughts I always seemed to find opportunities to recognize what I didn’t like about myself. Sometimes you find the weirdest things to make yourself feel bad about yourself and one of those things for me was my shadow.
I remember times outside either alone or with friends and seeing my shadow on the ground. With friends it was the worst because I had comparison silhouettes, but regadless I was always without doubt horrified at what I saw. I could look into the mirror and “fool” myself, in a way, by doing my hair and makeup and putting on some fun accessories. But my shadow for me was always the unrelenting truth. No features to fall back on, I was forced to see every unflattering curve, bulge and proportion and I hated the shadow I used to cast on the world. 
I am still a long way from perfect. I have missed runs or the gym when I should’ve, and could’ve, gone. I don’t always eat the most balanced of meals and I have a pretty crazy sweet tooth at times. I enjoy a Hulu/Netflix series binge fest that requires minimal movement for the majority of a day. There will always be room for improvement, but I am happy and healthy enough to take on life with a newfound energy and enthusiasm that makes setting and achieving goals possible.
Now when I see my shadow I feel as if I’m casting a more true representation of who I am and who I always wanted to be. I see a more womanly sillhoutte and a shape that shows strength and confidence. It has been a journey getting to this point, but today I was honestly able to look down at my shadow with a sense of pride about the transformation I have made and the life I am living. 

Where Are My Cheerleaders??

I know some of you following my journey are not on Facebook but are instead keeping up with me via this blog. I have put out a call for cheerleaders between now and the big day to participate in a virtual pep rally, of sorts! I’ve already received some great creative pictures cheering me on, and I am encouraging everyone who feels up the challenge to send me a pic to keep me motivated as we approach the big day!

Once we’re a bit closer I’ll be making a cheerleader blog post with all of the pictures together and I can’t think of a more special keepsake, or a more awesome thing to look at on April 20th when I’m getting myself in the zone!

So whether you do this yourself selfie-style, gather a group, or recruit your children or pets, snap away!! Obviously creativity and costumes are encouraged 😉 

Email the pics to me at kirby.matthess@gmail.com

The Longest Training Run!

So this Saturday, yesterday, was the day of the long training run! Above is a pic of our team members who met bright and early at Spaulding before heading out to Natick. 
Backtracking a bit for a minute, this week not only did I get my Race for Rehab singlet but I also got my official runner’s passport! I’m looking forward to the upcoming expo to get my official bib!
 
It is So crazy that marathon day, a day I have been anticipating for so long now, is approaching so quickly. In true dork-inspired selfie style, clearly I needed to attempt a “ready to run” pic Saturday morning. 
We met at Spaulding at 7 am and head out on some pretty sweet buses (think airline first class style, I seriously have never been in a bus like that before!) soon after. We got a pep talk from our President, David Storto, who is also running and is a member of our team. Dr. Chris Carter, one of our psychologists, also came out to help us get mentally prepared before heading out. 
It was great being on the course with so many other runners. There were tons if booths set up and generous volunteers along the entire way with food and drinks for any runner that needed a refuel. A special shout out to the Spaulding-specific crew who volunteered their time in support! Some of the booths had free stuff and no one told me to bring a bag for swag!  Not that I really would have wanted to carry it all, but hey quality running socks get expensive! Sad to say I didn’t pick up any free things along the way, but it was still inspiring to receive all the cheers. It’s crazy to think the crowds on actual marathon day are going to be, what, like 20 to 30 times larger? Insane! I can’t wait for the adrenaline rush!!
Going the distance you just have to keep yourself entertained, or at least I do.  Around mile 6, I saw Tedy Bruschi up ahead. So I chased after him, taking pics. Then, as if the universe was giving me a sign, he walked and I took my opportunity to sneak in front and snap my photo. 
(The chase)
He actually didn’t have headphones in when we were kind of next to each other so I thought about some amazing opening line to try and actually get a real selfie, or “ussie,” a new term I was recently told about and kind of love. But selfies/ussies I think are really only the correct term when it’s consenting parties and that would have required some sort of verbal exchange.  On my approach, Tedy stuck in some headphones and I think he must have felt my awkwardly excited energy creeping closer. Probably for the best knowing the things that can come out of my mouth sometimes. So my plan B was the non-consenting creeper pic above, but I’ll take it!
Around mile 11 we came to a stop light intersection.  (Quick shout out to the awesome police who patrolled the major intersections to help all of us runners get safely across. I tried to thank each any every one of them because it really was an awesome thing for them to do on this unofficial event day). Anyways, obviously since I was already stopped it was only natural I took a picture with gorilla man. Truth be told, even if the traffic flow had cooperated so I could have kept on, I would have stopped because hi, I’m-running-and-taking-a-selfie-with-a-gorilla moments don’t come along every day. 

I got some practice shooting some pics on this run and I believe I will be trying to do the same at least part of the time on marathon day. If I’m not in contention to win (surprise, I’m not!) I might as well have some fun memories from the day. So if you’re along the course cheering me on don’t be surprised if I veer over for a quick ussie 🙂
Overall, I felt pretty good but I have had some right hip tightness that was pretty intense and unpleasant. I still didn’t need to walk, but I did take about 3 stretch opportunities along the way to try and loosen up. I’m proud to report that after going back to my shoes which I was fit for last summer my heel pain has hugely decreased while running and after. Honestly, that was so much more awful than any of this hip stuff so I am very happy I went back to some sneaks that are clearly better for my body mechanics. I need to remember this and I will never again buy shoes I intend to put huge miles on without getting them actually fit! 
I was hobbling a bit by the end so returning to the hospital to see the following sign was an excellent reward!
Damn! That could have been my “in” when I saw Tedy on the course! “Hey T-dog, I’ll be cooling down in your gym post run! SMILE!!” 
Another amazing reward was the Physical Therapists that donated their weekend time to help stretch us out. Anne really helped me get a deep stretch for my pesky hip and I couldn’t have been more grateful. Well, maybe a little bit more grateful if she was there after all of my runs 😉
So the weather held out, I finished the intended route and also got some team bonding time in! Unfortunately the pre-planned map of our run which calculated out to 21 miles didn’t quite hit that on my GPS watch 😦 That said, this was still a PR and definitely gave me the confidence I can totally do this in 3 weeks time!